Anna's Refuge Read online

  Anna's Refuge

  Kerryn Reid

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  Published by The Hartwood Publishing Group, LLC,

  Hartwood Publishing, Phoenix, Arizona

  www.hartwoodpublishing.com

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  Anna’s Refuge

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  Copyright © 2019 by Kerryn Reid

  Hartwood Release: Dec. 2019

  All Rights Are Reserved.

  This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places, and incidents are products of the writer’s imagination, or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales, or organizations is entirely coincidental.

  Dedication

  For Dan

  Real-life romance, 45 years and counting

  Acknowledgments

  There’s nothing better than a library… except the people who work there! Many thanks to Jane Riley of The Leeds Library, the oldest surviving example of the proprietary subscription library in the British Isles. The perfect spot for a pivotal scene in Anna’s Refuge. Jane gave me a tour of the facility—including an original chair still coated with the original paint!

  Appropriately, the library houses the collections of the Thoresby Society, the Leeds Historical Society. Eve Bradford, their librarian, graciously dug up maps and other assorted resources for my edification. Priceless!

  Appreciation, too, to Antony Ramm of the Central Library in Leeds, who pulled dozens of tomes from the stacks for one blissful afternoon of research. I wish I could have used one-quarter of the information I unearthed. I hope to do better in future books.

  For the research articles she kindly sent me, I’m grateful to fellow Janeite Cheryl Kinney, MD, of the Dr. Cheryl Kinney Center for Female Health & Hormone Disorders, who is an expert on historical customs and attitudes pertaining to pregnancy and childbirth. Again, so much information, so little space in my book!

  To Doris Lemcke and Karen Dean Benson, my critique partners, I send my love and thanks for their time and honest comments—sometimes tactful, usually right, always appreciated!

  * * *

  Kerryn Reid

  Anna’s Refuge by Kerryn Reid

  Lewis Aubrey has grown up in the malignant shadow of his brother, Gideon. In London for the first time, with no thought of love, he is beguiled by Miss Anna Spain. Gideon steals her away and then tosses her aside like a wilted rose. Months later, horrified to learn that Anna carries Gideon’s child, Lewis tracks her down amid the grit of industrial Leeds. He’s desperate to protect her—but can he survive marriage, believing she still yearns for his brother?

  Trusting and naïve, dreaming of a love that’s glorious and timeless, Anna falls for Gideon Aubrey and his lies. When he casts her aside in the middle of a ball, Lewis shields her from gossip. He becomes her rock in a world of anguish, and she grows to love him very much indeed. But what kind of woman would condemn a man to a marriage he cannot possibly want, raising a child not his own? Somehow, these two tattered souls must escape Gideon’s shadow and find their way to happiness, for the child’s sake…and for their own.

  Contents

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Chapter 44

  Chapter 45

  Chapter 46

  Chapter 47

  Chapter 48

  Chapter 49

  Chapter 50

  Chapter 51

  About the Author

  Chapter 1

  The London Season

  April 1817

  Anna Spain hid her smile—easy to do in the dark carriage. She was not ready to reveal her secret, especially to Mama.

  It happened so fast! When they’d first danced together, she’d known Gideon Aubrey was the one. And this Adonis had fallen for her, the shy daughter of a Bristol manufacturer, whose best marriage option had been old Mr. Wexcombe.

  “You look pretty tonight,” Mama said, begrudging. “No match for the Season’s diamonds, but you’ll do. Thanks to Putnam.”

  Anna heard a cluck of disapproval from Putnam, Mama’s maid, seated across from them. Or perhaps it was an involuntary grunt as a wheel dropped into a chink between the cobbles.

  “At all events, Mr. Aubrey can have no doubt about your interest. You present a convincing show of true love.”

  “It isn’t a show, Mama. It’s real.”

  “Of course it is, dear,” Mama said, with a perfunctory pat on the arm. “Very wise.”

  Anna huffed in frustration. Could Cedric and Evelyn Spain possibly be her true parents? Surely neither of them ever had a romantic notion. The only poetry in the house Anna had borrowed from the lending library or written herself. However had they managed to conceive two children?

  “It’s time to bring Mr. Aubrey to the point, Anna. I’ve let him haunt the house, even given you time alone with him. Your father will settle the finances, of course, but you must seal the deal.”

  Mama talked of it as a business arrangement, but that was the tiniest part of it. If Mama had ever loved Papa the way Anna loved Gideon Aubrey, she would understand.

  Well, Anna had done all she could, and more than she should, to seal the deal. Next week Gideon would go to Bristol to see her father. Then the whole world would know how fortunate she was. Nothing else in her eighteen years had made her think so, but now! Now she was promised to the perfect man, the man who’d filled her dreams since she first thought about men as anything other than father, uncle, or brother.

  They joined the stream of guests entering the grand house in Brook Street, hired by Sir John Wedbury for his daughter’s first London Season. Miss Cassandra Wedbury officially celebrated her coming-out tonight, after six weeks of balls and routs. Unlike Anna, she was a success. And she had welcomed Anna into her circle.

  So strange to have a friend—almost as exciting as a fiancé. Both of them overflowed with confidence that bolstered Anna’s fragile self-assurance. She no longer shrank when she walked into a crowded ballroom like this one.

  Two hours later, for what was surely the hundredth time since she arrived, Anna looked toward the door where Gideon must enter. It lay invisible beyond a sea of people, but Gideon
stood half a head taller than most of the men in the room, with broad shoulders and dark curls arranged gorgeously across his brow. In any case, his presence made a room thrum with expectation; she would feel it in her bones when he arrived.

  Anna dragged her attention back to her partner as they awaited their turn in the dance. Mr. Hudson was no Gideon, droning on about the functions of the Colonial Department, but he deserved her courtesy. So she smiled, admitting her ignorance while pretending interest.

  Gideon was late, but he would come in time. The waltz would be next—their waltz, arranged yesterday during a private moment in the shrubbery at Kew Gardens. All the hours since, she’d looked forward to being in his arms.

  When the set ended, Mr. Hudson returned her to Mrs. Worley, whom Mama had enlisted as Anna’s chaperone before absconding to the card room. No sooner had he walked away than Miss Cassandra Wedbury took possession of her arm.

  “May I borrow Miss Spain, ma’am?” Miss Wedbury asked. “Mr. Aubrey is looking for her.”

  The woman’s thoughtless wave showed her disinterest in the matter. She had no reason to care whether Anna danced with someone Mama had approved or with the devil himself.

  “Mr. Aubrey?” Had Gideon sneaked past her guard? Naturally, he would seek out Miss Wedbury at her debut ball to pay his respects—it was only polite. Their families were neighbors up in Yorkshire, after all. Not York itself, or anyplace that anyone had ever been, but some primitive village hardly worthy of a name, to hear Gideon speak of it. “Why do you think I live in London, my sweet?” he’d said, laughing.

  Anna had laughed too. He had such a droll way about him.

  As it happened, Gideon was not Miss Wedbury’s target. Instead, his younger brother stood with Miss Wedbury’s own brother, Jack, watching their approach.

  Mr. Lewis Aubrey stood almost as tall as Gideon but narrower, his hair a lighter shade of brown with a tendency toward disorder, his expression serious and a bit quizzical in contrast to Gideon’s infectious grin. Miss Wedbury named him her best friend and confidant although she was so lively and he so quiet. Like Anna herself.

  He was handsome in his own way and rather sweet. He’d spilled lemonade on her gown at Almack’s once, and she forgot to be annoyed as she soothed his mortification. She had liked him and flattered herself that he returned the sentiment.

  Then Gideon had claimed her attention with jokes that made her laugh and compliments that made her blush. Swept away by his gallantry, she’d almost forgotten he had a brother. Which was not nice of her, but there was nothing she could do about it now, except show him she still liked him, though in a different way.

  She greeted Mr. Wedbury politely and then shone her nicest smile upon the man who would be her brother-in-law. His eyes widened in surprise—yes, he had noticed her neglect these past few weeks.

  “Has your brother been delayed?” she asked him after the obligatory courtesies. “He claimed this waltz when we talked yesterday.”

  “I’m sure he…” began Mr. Lewis Aubrey, a blush creeping into his cheeks. “Miss Wedbury’s ball, you know. I mean to say…”

  “Here he comes.” Mr. Wedbury’s voice sounded hoarse as he scowled at something behind her.

  Anna spun around to follow the direction of his gaze. Exhilaration tingled from her fingertips up her arms, all through her chest, and down to her toes. Her voice vibrated with it as she greeted her betrothed.

  “Good evening, Mr. Aubrey! I knew you would not miss our waltz.” As she spoke, she noticed the possessive way Miss Landrum gripped his arm and the challenge in her blue eyes as they met Anna’s own. Poor Miss Landrum thought Gideon could be hers.

  She would learn her mistake soon enough.

  Gideon raised his brows and surveyed Anna coolly before making her a formal bow. “I’m sorry, Miss… Crane, is it? This dance is promised to Miss Landrum.” He fondled the gloved hand resting on his sleeve and smiled down into Miss Landrum’s face. Anna blinked. Such a tender expression, so like…

  “But don’t you remember?” she blurted out. “We agreed yesterday—”

  “But Miss Landrum,” Mr. Wedbury said at the same time. “I thought you and I—”

  “Oh!” Gideon looked up in surprise, as though he had not seen the rest of them standing there. “You know Miss Landrum, do you not? Miss Landrum, this is Mr. Wedbury and his sister, who was so kind as to invite us to her little party. And Miss… Sprain, is it not? And this,” he continued, giving the younger Mr. Aubrey a slap on the shoulder that knocked him off balance, “is my own baby brother.”

  What was wrong with Gideon? He knew her name very well, and they’d all met a hundred times. He had a swagger about him tonight, and his eyes gleamed with devilry. Almost with evil.

  Anna forced a laugh and shook her head. It was only a bit of mischief. “Oh, you’re teasing again, Mr. Aubrey.”

  She would have gone on, making light of it, but Miss Landrum tossed a careless smile at no one in particular and tugged on Gideon’s arm. “Listen, they’re striking up for the waltz.”

  “Beauty calls,” Gideon said with a grin. He stepped toward the dance floor with Miss Landrum.

  “But, Mr.—” Anna couldn’t breathe. She lurched forward, reaching out to him. He never looked back.

  Miss Wedbury put an arm around her waist, drawing her into the protection of their little flock. “It won’t do any good, I’m afraid. No, Miss Spain, you may not faint.”

  “But I… He…”

  “Shhh,” Miss Wedbury hissed at her. To the others, she said, “People are starting to notice. I’d best take her to the retiring room. Or to her mama.”

  The words hurtled by as in a dream. Surely Anna must awake in her bed at any moment with the ball yet to come, the waltz, her whole life secure in Gideon’s love.

  His brother spoke through clenched teeth. “And I’ll have to watch him gloat for the rest of the evening? I think not.” He took Anna’s hand and set it on his arm. “Come, Miss Spain. We’re going to waltz.”

  “I can’t,” she mumbled. “I must—”

  “No, you must not.” So fierce and hard-hearted. She’d thought him a kind young man, but his eyes showed no sympathy as he led her in amongst the dancers.

  Instead, he smiled. How could he, when her world was crumbling to dirt around her feet?

  He bowed. She curtsied.

  What am I doing? I must get to Gideon and talk to him, alone.

  The younger Mr. Aubrey put his hands in the right places and set her in motion.

  Why would Gideon play such a trick on me? When they next met he would chuckle, and call her a goose, and reassure her with kisses and words of love, and—

  “I must apologize for my brother, Miss Spain. He has always been an inconsiderate fellow.”

  She glanced at Lewis Aubrey, desperate to get away. To scream, to cry.

  It would cause a scene. Break all the rules, embarrass him and myself, Miss Wedbury and her parents.

  She missed a couple of steps, slewing around awkwardly in his arms. He righted her, his grip strong and secure.

  When he spoke again, his voice was gentle, coaxing.

  “Let’s play a game, Miss Spain. Pretend nothing’s wrong. My brother likes to see the misery he’s caused.”

  She stared him in the eye. “I don’t believe it. He can’t have feigned it all.” Could he?

  “I’ve known him a long time, Miss Spain. He enjoys it even more when there’s a room full of gossips to witness his triumphs.”

  He was wrong. Of course he was wrong. To say such things of his own brother! Rivalry must drive him, or jealousy. Sour grapes.

  “Miss Spain?” She returned her gaze to his. He grinned, ridiculous and exaggerated.

  It was the hardest thing she’d ever done, far more difficult than walking into Almack’s the first time among all those people who belonged there.

  But it was necessary.

  He squeezed her hand, and for the rest of that dreadful waltz, they competed to see
which of them could out-smile the other.

  He won, but by heaven, she held up her end. He nodded his approval.

  She wanted to cry.

  The silence hissed in Anna’s head as they descended the grand staircase. Smile, Miss Spain. Smile, Miss Pain, Miss Plain, Miss Stain. Smile, smile, smile. She dared not meet her mother’s gaze.

  It was getting late and they were not the only party awaiting their carriage. The voices rumbled through her head, sound without meaning. Still she smiled, in debt to Gideon’s brother, a rock standing obdurate in a roaring ocean of color and light. She forced the smile wider as her heart cracked open, spilling blood and dreams all through her body, leaving her dumb and teetering.

  Anna found brief solace in the darkness of the carriage. Putnam’s presence precluded conversation beyond the obvious comments on the evening. In fact, it could not be called conversation at all.

  “Quite a crush, was it not?” Her mother’s voice grated like sackcloth rubbing against a rash. Anna tugged off her gloves. “There was hardly a seat to be found in the card room. And I was winning, I’ll have you know. Why you must have the headache tonight, of all nights.”